I.M.P.L.U. ( Inter-galactic Mission for the Preservation of Life in the Universe.)

CHAIR;  The purpose of this meeting is to assess the viability of the sustainability of life on the so-called planet Earth in the so-called Milky Way galaxy. Professor Sagan?

Prof. Sagan;  Life has proliferated on this planet, however, recently this has been threatened by a dysfunctional species…. Homo Sapiens.

CHAIR;  Dysfunctional? Explain Professor.

Prof. Sagan; Study of the Genome of this species has shown that while it has evolved and has advanced its technical ability, certain aspects of its DNA have not mutated in step.

CHAIR;  Can you be more specific Professor?

Prof. Sagan; Its scientific abilities, particularly communication, have developed impressively but the genes determining empathy,  self-awareness and , indeed, self-preservation have , if anything, shown regression.

CHAIR; What have been the consequences for itself and the rest of life on the planet?

Prof.Sagan;  This species regularly inflicts self-harm through intra-species  wars, often as a result of the bizarre conflict over belief in a deity, I know , it sounds ridiculous. It is destroying its own and every other species natural environment, both flora and fauna. 

CHAIR; One of the most extreme situations we have encountered  Professor. What is your teams’ recommendation?

Prof. Sagan; This species will obviously become extinct in time, the question is When? and How? We recommend giving it 1000 orbits of its sun…if  it has not brought about its own demise by then , then we intervene to speed things up.

Doctor Hitch;  I object! In 1000 orbits there may not be any life left to preserve!

CHAIR;I agree.  I suggest we give this Homo Sapiens 100 orbits to bring about its own extinction, at which point we put it out of its ,and everything else’s misery.

Doctor Hitch; We can set up monitoring units on its lunar surface, amongst the debris left when they first polluted their satellite.

CHAIR; This planet shall be referred to as Earth plus Plastic henceforth, until all traces of this delinquent species have disappeared. Thank you all.

(Doctor Hitch leaves muttering  ‘Gods?   Seriously? )